Eight Fears

Missed a day.  Ah well; I was justified.  I have a huge history midterm on Wednesday, and have had little or no spare time outside of studying for it.  Meh...

Anyhow...eight fears is for today.  I suppose I'm not very afraid of many things, but I'll come up with something, right?

1) To be very, very bluntly honest...I'm afraid of being raped.  Not that I am being threatened - no, I'm just afraid that, with the world being the way it is and people being inherently evil...yeah.  Though, I'm more afraid for my little sister than I am. *sigh*  However, I have faith in God, that He will guard me.  In fact, He already has.  There was a possibility for some awful things to happen when I was in a locker room alone as a child, but I think it was divine that nothing happened, when it all too easily could have.

2) I would be afraid, or desperately sad if anyone in my family were to die.  Again, this is an area where God has shown His love and mercy.  My family is very large, and yet not a one of us has been killed or seriously maimed in any sort of way.  God is faithful.

3) Now for something a bit less serious.  I'm afraid I'll do poorly on my history midterm.  There is an awful lot of information I'm *supposed* to have memorized for it, and though I've been studying very diligently, I'm worried that I won't do very well.  But, what's the point in fearing?  I keep reminding myself that I can do all things through Christ - even a history midterm.  He will get me through.

4) I suppose a major thing that is not life-threatening in any way to me is that I am afraid to disappoint people.  The greatest of which are God and my parents.  Next would be other family and friends.  I so dearly love my peoples, and especially God, and I fear that I don't live up to them, that I don't honor them enough with my life and what I do.

5) I'm afraid of zombies.  Or, rather, my imaginary zombies.  I don't like going up stairs alone at night, because I can't look both ways at once.  Meh.

6) I suppose I'm a bit afraid of losing my fingers or hands in some freak accident.  I so love to write, draw, and play piano, and if I were to lose even one finger, I would have difficulty coping, I think.

7) I'm afraid that, because I'm learning Karate/self defense, particularly what to do if someone grabs me, that someday, one of my friends will try to play a joke on me, and I will find that I react and hurt them, accidentally.

8) I would be afraid of living without God.  I can't imagine life without His presence in my every heartbeat and breath.  That would be the eternal and terrifying separation.  Not one I want to go through with in the least.

I think that, in the end, I am not afraid, per se, of many things.  Things can worry and cause me to act fearfully, but I am not truly afraid of many things.  I suppose that death should have featured on that list somewhere, but I don't think I'm afraid of dying.  Maybe, dying without having changed the world.  Also, torture did not feature on that list, either.  That is one thing I couldn't stand.  I'd rather just be put to death, not tortured.  I trust that God knows this. :P

Anyhow...I shall off to bed, and bid thee good night.

~Fumble