Dodge

The reason we seclude ourselves - it's really because it is safer then being out in the open, then wearing our hearts on our sleeves. Granted, not everyone experiences things as deeply as I do, but...I hurt so very easily. I had to learn how to protect my own heart, and the best way was to cloister myself. It wasn't hard - after all, once you become an outsider, you forever gravitate toward that side of the fence. It's just easier, that's all - to be anonymous is to be safe.

I've learnt so very much about myself, and yet I realize over and over I have a long ways to go. If only it was as easy as driving through a rainstorm, dodging raindrops...

Of course, I'd love to make this post long-winded, but the truth is that I'm far too often lost for words. This is all that makes sense, at the moment, and I'd rather not bear what I newly understand to everyone. Doubtless I would be judged by those who know me, and it wouldn't end well. I'm not so afraid of the judgement, only the forever distaste they have for me afterward. Yes, I act differently, I don't always make the best decisions - but did you ever wonder about the person behind the mistake?

I didn't think so, either.

Is that enough to think on? Is it enough to make a small change, enough of a butterfly wing-flap to make a difference somewhere else?

I reverently, dearly hope so.

~Fumble