My Redeemer Lives

There is a time for everything.

A time to be resigned, and a time to stand up and throw off the yoke of unfair blame.

Of course, now is not that time.  I don't think I could ever be so unkind to someone.  That's the problem with me...I'm rather good at resenting and telling a person off in my head, but I only very rarely will do so out loud.  You can bet, though, when I do, that person had done something I consider very wrong, perhaps even unpardonable.  Afterwards, though, I always feel like I'm a bad sport, and a rather rotten person.  Just for telling someone they were being disrespectful?  I am far too soft inside.  I need to cultivate that thicker skin, I think.

But that's me, isn't it?  I couldn't hold a grudge to save my life.  Give me a night of rest, and whatever bothered me the day before has been forgotten.  Certainly, I remember what has gone wrong, but I don't really have negative feeling about it any longer.  If I have done something wrong, I simply end up resolved to repent and ask forgiveness, or whatever it may take.  Sure, it's a little humiliating and humbling, but being a little disgruntled is a small price to pay for the freedom that comes when someone's forgiven you.  You feel like nothing in the world could ever go wrong again.

It's a rather nice feeling.  You know somewhere in the back of your mind that something bad will probably happen again, but you are so relieved with the release of tension and worry that you don't care about it for now.  Yes, there will be more times of regret and guilt, but that is part of life - part of being a loverly human being.  The important part is that we learn to rely on and trust God, and do what is right - not what is easy.

I'm rather tired, and I have a lot of school tomorrow morning, but I do have bright hopes for tomorrow.  His mercies are new every morning, and so is my heart, I think.

Here's to a sweet, holy sleep.

~Fumble