The World's Doing Just Fine Without Me

Yesterday I posted about how quickly things seem to change.  As if God's reply, some things did change.  Not necessarily the things I wanted to change, and it wasn't my timing - but that isn't the point, is it?

To summarize, I was *fired* this morning.  It wasn't a terrible affair, just my manager sitting down with me to explain why.  I hadn't been picking things up quickly enough, and he needed someone who could be in the front of the store working, without needing help.  So, he was letting me go, would call if he could use me in the future, and that was about it.  It wasn't unkind, just factual.  I didn't cry, and I doubt that I will.  Before getting the job, while getting the job, and before going to see the manager this morning, I prayed that God's will would be done with this job.  If He wanted me to keep it, he would make a way for me to do so.  If not, that would become clear inherently.

I confess that I am disappointed, but mainly with myself.  I feel as if I could have done better, but I'm not going to dwell on it for the rest of my life.  In the end, I trust God.  Implicitly.  Perhaps senselessly, by this world's standards, but His is the one trust that I can be sure of.  Only He is faithful.

So.  I'm sad about losing the job, but I feel peace about it.  I enjoyed the short time working there, and if nothing else, I learned enough that I could work at another place if I so desire, but I'm not going to desperately try to find another job.  I don't blame the manager, and I really don't blame myself all that much.  It was a first job, and I had never worked in that type of job before.  Of course it was going to take me longer to learn.  It's no one's fault.

Should I really be torn up and desolate over this?  I might have lost a job, but I'm alive, aren't I?  My family is in good health, I have a place to stay, and I'm in school, free of charge for this semester.

I am okay.

I can trust that God knows what is best for me, and I have already surrendered things into his hands.  Now is the true hard part - waiting.

If nothing else, I have confidence in my God.

And, really, that is all I need.

Now, I just need to rest in that.

~Fumble