Confusion

Don't tell me not to cry - don't tell me that it'll all be okay. It's not, it's not, and it never will be. Don't stop me from doing the only thing I can; don't try to hold me close; don't try to wipe my sorrow away with your touch. I'd rather be alone than try to be loved by you. I can't handle love, it's too much...too much pain comes of love, and I know it full well.

So why is my mind telling me one thing, and my heart another? I'm sick of being divided within myself, wanting something I know I can't have. I'm tired of having dreams and only that. I'm tired of longing for something that doesn't exist, and yet it's the only way I can go on. I shall be doomed to wander the world, looking for what doesn't exist, until I die, because what I pretend is better than reality.

The person I love most, want most, simply doesn't exist. And so I'll continue walking alone, continue crying unconsoled. There's nothing more for my heart. If I didn't know so well that it was whole, I would know it was broken. What a stupid, fickle thing, the heart. I don't even understand it.

Don't tell me to stop crying - don't ask me to quit. I finally found you, I finally understand. Just...hold me. For now, it's enough...

~Overcast