Fly

Soundtrack for today's post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D0vaiKq3TQ

Happiness.  Seems like a dream, just about, doesn't it?  I'm not sure about this all.  I've already decided to wait on God for my own, so it would be a shame to give up so suddenly.  Of course, I'm not really giving up.  Not yet, at least.  I'm not allowed to give up until I'm 35, right?

The only issue now is trust, isn't it?  It's so easy to trust God in the now thing - daily bread and all that - but somehow it's difficult to trust in Him and entrust Him with all the tomorrows I have.  He already knows what each day holds; is it really so hard to believe that He's got it all under control?

Well, for me, apparently, yes.  Yes it is.

I think I'm getting a little better, though.  I can smile back to the smile offered me, and think nothing of it.  You see, I've found that I don't need to think 24-7 about that guy that gave me five seconds of his time.  Oh, yes, the heart is so fickle, but I'm learning to have a thick skin, while still being soft inside.  I'm learning not to read ridiculous things into harmless gestures.  I'm learning that just because someone looks at me doesn't mean I have to respond.  I don't have to sell myself short into that way of life again.  You see, I know someone who knows it all.  I don't have to guess what tomorrow will bring, or try to control how it will turn out.  I don't have to do it on my own.

And you know what?

It's freeing.

~Fumble