It's funny, how one of the most beautiful days can seem grey and cold when you're alone...and even if that loneliness isn't absolute. Sometimes you can imagine you're the only one in the entire world, because your entire world is merely the area around you that you can see and hear and feel...
Looking back through papers, stirring up old memories with the dust...remembering what your world once was and who was included in it. Dear friends, beloved family now long gone...relationships that gradually faded away...knowing that you allowed it to happen. It's not a guilty feeling, not completely, but there's definitely a feeling of loss. It's hard to remember what could have been and wondering where you'd be today if it had continued. Ah, sorrowful regrets.
How funny, to look back and recall all that you fumbled through, and laugh at your own mistakes. How amazing, to look at who you once were, and see how far you've come, how much you've changed - and whether it's for the better or not.
It's hard, knowing you've never visit those times again. They're over for good, and nothing will change that. I guess all we can do is keep moving forward and making new memories...because there's really nothing else to do. To stay at one point of time forever is to be obsessed, and wrongfully so. I don't want to be stuck in one place. I know there are people waiting for me. I'll never know who they are if I don't keep plowing on through the mud of life. Maybe they'll need me as much as I'll need them.
It's nice to be needed...and even better to be wanted and loved.
So I'll remember, perhaps in a melancholy way, but with a bit of hope for the future, as well. I will always be fond of remembrance, and I'll always love those people, even if they are gone...but even as memories fade, love will find a way to grow...and I'll keep walking until my footprints cross with his.
Then we can continue into the horizon, the waves washing clean the tracks behind us...walking side by side until the world I know now can no longer see us and is left with a memory...
...Just a memory of love.
~An Overcast-y Sort of Fumblebee
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